Why Government is Better than god.

June 18th, 2019 - cont.

 

 

1.

Government is better than god because it can convict you of thoughtcrime.

They usually call it intellectual property or state-secrets.

 

The only type of punishment god can see through supposedly comes in death, costing you none of your time, and therefore, none of your money.

 

2.

Government is better than god because it is quite literally everywhere: on your phone, at your school, on your computer, at work, in the airport, in your paycheck, divvying out healthcare, monitoring trade, patrolling the highways, scanning the coast, even in your local newspaper.

 

Unlike the supposed ubiquitous features of god, you can see AND feel government everywhere.

 

3.

Government is better than god because you can vote Government out of office.

Even if you can’t, Government always lets you think your vote matters.

I don’t remember ever electing that prick, god.

 

4.

Government is better than god because I can write the Government a letter and there’s a good chance they’ll respond.

There is 0 chance of god responding to my letters.

 

5.

Government is better than god because I can see the look of disgust on its ugly face when I shake my stick at it.

 

6.

Government is better than god because they believe more strongly in democracy than monarchy.

 

Having more than one politician you believe in makes you well informed. Pushing to change laws makes you proactive.

Having more than one god you believe in makes you a polytheist. Pushing to change laws makes you a heretic.

 

7.

Government is better than god because their rules change as new information arises.

 

8.

Government is better than god because it’s not considered rude to make fun of them in polite company.

 

9.

Government is better than god because the likelihood that your prayers will be answered is (slightly) higher.

 

Government has programs designed to provide healthcare and food stamps and housing. The quality may not be great, but it’s better than nothing.

No matter how hard you beg, god never seems to pony up the same way the Government does.

 

10.

Government is better than god because they actually punish sinners.

Sometimes Government punishes a few saints along the way.

But hey, still doing more than god.

 

11.

Government is better than god because you can actually escape them in death.